


It's Just a Fact. Everybody Knows.

by sameboots



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Arya's POV, F/M, Matchmaking, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 10:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19828030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sameboots/pseuds/sameboots
Summary: In which Arya Stark starts her Freshman Year at King's Landing High and is truly horrified by the nightmare that is Coach Lannister and Coach Tarth's . . .vibe.--In Arya’s decided opinion, Coach Lannister looks like a bad version of a Prince Charming cartoon. However, according to literally every straight girl, bi girl, and half the gay girls in her class, Coach Lannister is “hot af”. Apparently, Coach Tarth agrees with this assessment, much to Arya’s continued dismay.Coach Lannister and Coach Tarth spend almost the entire bus ride there and back bickering about something under their breaths. All the while, Coach Lannister smirks and Coach Tarth rolls her eyes, blushing until her whole head is red like she’s sunburned. It’s gross.It’sgrossand Arya seems to be the only one that notices.





	It's Just a Fact. Everybody Knows.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meditationsinemergencies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meditationsinemergencies/gifts).



> A birthday gift for one of my very best girls in all the world, meditationsinemergencies. 
> 
> She requested: middle school teachers AU for my First Kiss series.
> 
> Instead, she's getting this nonsense. 
> 
> Enjoy? Or don't! This is unbeta'd because I really wanted to get this up in time for it to be an actual birthday gift.

Arya Stark knows the following things for certain:  
1) Petyr Baelish is a creep;  
2) Joffrey Baratheon is a menace;  
3) She’s going to murder Coach Lannister and Coach Tarth if they don’t just shut up and bone already.

\--

Arya loves Coach Tarth. Arya never loves her teachers, but Coach Tarth is awesome. She’s tough but fair, kind but takes no bullshit. Arya comes to view her as a woman of steel, an unshakeable tower of competence, skill, and intelligence.

But then, the first away meet for the track and field team arrives and Arya learns that Coach Tarth has one major chink in her armor: Coach Lannister.

It’s always hard to see one’s hero crash to the Earth in a blaze of humanity, but for Arya, it’s particularly upsetting. If Coach Tarth’s weakness was the javelin or pole vault, that’s one thing, no one can be the best at all events. That Coach Tarth’s weakness is a stupidly handsome man is unforgivable. 

Arya has to put up with enough simpering and giggling and blushing from Sansa and Sansa’s best friend, Margaery, the last thing she needs is her pinnacle of Unaffected Woman to be so -- so -- so affected by a guy.

In Arya’s decided opinion, Coach Lannister looks like a bad version of a Prince Charming cartoon. However, according to literally every straight girl, bi girl, and half the gay girls in her class, Coach Lannister is “hot af”. Apparently, Coach Tarth agrees with this assessment, much to Arya’s continued dismay. 

Coach Lannister and Coach Tarth spend almost the entire bus ride there and back bickering about something under their breath. All the while, Coach Lannister smirks and Coach Tarth rolls her eyes, blushing until her whole head is red like she’s sunburned. It’s gross. 

It’s gross and Arya seems to be the only one that notices. 

\--

“You’re such an idiot,” Sansa says with a roll of her eyes. “If anything they absolutely hate each other.”

“Maybe, but they definitely want to -- you know.” Arya gestures. Sansa wrinkles her nose. “I’m just saying.”

Sansa holds up one finger. “First: gross.” Then she raises a second. “Second: you’re imagining things.”

“How often am I wrong about things?” Arya demands.

“Literally, every single day.”

Arya scowls at her. Sansa is an idiot, but Arya already knew that.

\--

It becomes interminable. Coach Tarth and Coach Lannister truly cannot spend one away trip without having some sort of argument that leaves Coach Lannister looking like the cat that got the cream and Coach Tarth vibrating with a sort of rage that only he can provoke. 

It really does make Arya feel nauseous. 

\--

“No really, they want to bone,” Arya insists. Sansa looks disbelieving. Margaery looks intrigued.

“Tell me more,” Margaery says, hmming.

“Marg!” Sansa protests.

“What?” Margaery asks, the picture of innocence. “I want to hear what Arya has to say. I love a good enemies-to-lovers scenario. Especially when the players are hot and athletic. Think of what their sex --”

Sansa slaps her hands over her ears and chants, “LA LA LA LA!”

Arya glares at her before turning her full attention to Margaery. “They spend every. single. away match arguing quietly at the front of the bus until Coach Lannister says something to piss her off enough to go sit in the back of the bus while he looks at her with this smug smile on his face.”

Margaery tilts her head. “That doesn’t sound like they want to bone.”

“Ugh!” Arya throws her hands in the air and curses her intuition and everyone else’s blindness to the obvious. “You should see them. It’s gross.”

Margaery simply hmms again, but she looks properly intrigued now. She shoves Sansa. “You can uncover your delicate little ears now.”

\--

After that, Arya at least has a partner in observation. Margaery stops by her locker on occasion to report some intriguing interaction she’s spied between the two coaches. She doesn’t seem wholly convinced at first, but as the school year rocks along, and they combine their skills of observation, they both agree: before the summer break, something has to be done.

\--

It goes like this: Arya will wait for the moment they’re both in the equipment shed and then shut the door and brace one of the field hockey sticks against it, effectively trapping the two of them inside until they -- Arya cringes and tries not to think about the inevitable.

It takes weeks and Arya is just beginning to despair that all of her plans will be for naught when, three weeks before the summer holiday, she sees Coach Lannister following Coach Tarth, buzzing around her like a freakin’ mosquito, all the way across the track into the shed.

It’s not until she runs, shuts the door, and engages Operation Bone Already that she thinks to worry that the shed might not be air-conditioned. 

They definitely both have cell phones though, so they’ll be fine. 

Probably.

Arya texts Margaery and they hide beneath the benches, waiting for maintenance to rescue them. They both agree that if maintenance doesn’t show up after a couple of hours, they’ll let the coaches out of the shed just to make sure they don’t die of heatstroke. 

Luckily, after an hour, maintenance shows up and lets them out and they both look flushed and messy. Coach Tarth’s skin is pinker than they’ve ever seen it, one of her shoes is untied. Coach Lannister’s hair is so disheveled, it seems like not a single hair is facing the same direction. In Margaery’s opinion, their lips look like they’ve been sucking face. 

Arya concedes to her greater knowledge.

\--

Arya swears that the next day, Coach Tarth has a massive hickey right under her jawline. She swears, no matter how much Sansa claims she’s imagining things. 

\--

But then, absolutely nothing changes and on the last away meet of the year, Coach Lannister makes Coach Tarth so angry, she doesn’t even start out sitting next to him on the bus home.

For the first time, Arya doubts her own genius. 

That is, until, Homecoming her sophomore year when Coach Lannister suddenly walks through the middle of one of the marching band formations as they play that annoying Teenage Dream song, straight to where Coach Tarth is sitting with the other teachers and goes to one knee. 

“Coach Tarth,” he says loudly enough that at least a lot of people in the stands can hear him, and the others simply watch with a combination of raised eyebrows and soppy looks. “Will you …” he pauses for dramatic effect, letting all of the blood drain from Coach Tarth’s face, because he’s just that way, “be my co-chaperone for the rest of our lives?”

Coach Tarth immediately turns an impressive shade of crimson, stands and walks away from him without a word. He just smirks after her.

\--

When Coach Tarth shows up the first Monday after Homecoming, she’s wearing an absolutely enormous rock on her left ring finger. Sansa finally concedes to her genius and Margaery high-fives her in the hallway with a big whoop of victory.

Arya’s not proud of it, but she feels a rush of triumph and -- unfortunately, a tidal wave of warmth. 

Maybe Coach Tarth deserves to be happy with the smarmy bastard. 

\--

They still argue on every bus ride, but now that Arya knows she was right all along, she thinks it might be foreplay and that might be even worse.

\--

The first day of Arya’s senior year, she sees that the huge diamond ring is now paired with a plain band -- a wedding band -- and a matching one is on Coach Lannister’s finger. 

To: starks001@wu.com  
From: agirlisnoone@ravenmail.com  
Subject: My Final Triumph

They got married. 

Suck it!

\--

To: agirlisnoone@ravenmail.com  
From: starks001@wu.com  
Subject Re: My Final Triumph

Smug isn’t a good look on anyone

\--

To: starks001@wu.com  
From: agirlisnoone@ravenmail.com  
Subject: Re: My Final Triumph

You’re just mad i was right for once

\--

To: agirlisnoone@ravenmail.com  
From: starks001@wu.com  
Subject Re: My Final Triumph

Whatever 

\--

Sansa’s bitterness makes Arya’s triumph even sweeter.

If Arya gets a little emotional the first time she sees Coach Lannister give Coach Tarth a quick peck on the lips when he thinks they’re hidden on the other side of the equipment shed? 

Well.

That’s her own business and not anyone else’s.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone wants to read more about Jaime and Brienne's relationship, I posted a [headcanon/bullet-point on my tumblr ](https://agirlnamedkeith.tumblr.com/post/186363242230/headcanons-for-my-fic-its-just-a-fact-everybody)about it. :)


End file.
